Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right