he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week