How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
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She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves