apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.