apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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