Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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