I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
