Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
whose parrot is this?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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