I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
