I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
