Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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