You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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