I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
