ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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