Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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