Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
