I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
