I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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