Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
