i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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