I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My liver just had a heart attack.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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