Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
What drink are we having for lunch?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
