Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You dont lie about slip and slides
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
