Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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