I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
