I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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