You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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