I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So here I am, sexting at work.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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