would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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