Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
