Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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