Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
