He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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