coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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