Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
