He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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