Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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