Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
