I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
