I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
