I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
