Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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