she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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