But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think people are normalizing furries
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
