k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
