Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
