He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
