just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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