Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
