seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
