so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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