Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have feelings that need drinking.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
