also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
