Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize