I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
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Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
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If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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