Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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