It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Michael Bay diarrhea
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
