She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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