Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
