Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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