My cat gives me a boner
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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