I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize