also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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