And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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