I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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