I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
