i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
