Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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