I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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