It's Friday. Sex?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize